August 6, 2009 One of the saddest part of my life..

Not so well for me and to my girl, she just broke up with me.. She told me that she realized that at the point of her life she don't want to be with someone else, she wants to live on her own, and masasaktan niya lang daw ako if papayag pa daw siyang andito ako sa tabi nya pero wala naman akong inaasahan, she also said that she wants to try living her life alone... she also stated that our relationship is really not working.. She wants me to support her decision and ayaw niya daw ako masama sa mga personal problems niya because baka daw sa huli magsisihan pa daw kmi dahil baka madamay pa daw ako.. And the most hurtful part is she said that is "love is not enough".. I'm so so so so sad, I cried hard, After all that we've been through since were back on each others track... I need her so much and I love her so much.. I want her to be part of my new life, after my operation and in my process of recovering myself physically and mentally, I'm changing to the new phillip that she wants and for the people around me... and yet she blew things off.. she let me go ='( Lahat ginagawa ko para umayos ang relationship namin at kung ano meron kami ngayon but suddenly she decide to cut it all... This couple of days were ok, happy kmi and suddenly I dont know what happen to her.. She choose to broke my heart again... Ang hirap lalo na pag ganito biglaan.. I expect that magiging ok na lahat para samin.. and pinapakita namin sa isa't isa na how much we love each other everyday.. pero dumating ang araw na to.. I hate it so much.. Di ko alam kung saan ako nagkulang sa kanya.. Lagi naman ako nandyan kapag kailangan niya ko, pag may problem, halos umiikot na ang mundo ko sakanya at ganun din sabi nya skin, kulang na lang mag live in na kami para di kmi magkahiwalay kasi sobrang namimis namin ang isa't isa maghiwalay lang kmi saglit.... haaaaaaaayyyy i will missed all that we had, our happy moments together our fights everything... and the difficult part is that how can i accept that wala na... ayaw na niya... I want her so bad pero parang wala nakong magagawa... nilatag ko nanaman lahat ng baraha ko.. kung baga na pusoy nanaman ako.. I love her so much and it hurts so much.. I cannot define what kind of pain I'm feeling right now.. I just love her badly... Hope everything will be ok... Maybe this is part of my life and the turning point of a new me..